walking meditation

Walking Meditation
January 28, 2004

Missing you has become my walking meditation
With no hesitation
My heart sheds its skin to reveal the pain
Once caused to myself
The result of
Two sisters
With their hearts intermingled for the same man

It was not may plan
To fall so deeply in love
I had no idea
he would
Awaken my senses
Make me feel so lightheaded
yet so full of life
So light n fact
I’m walking on air

The pale reflection of what I was
Has disappeared
To reveal
My life in splendor
No longer
Emotions run through the blender
of life
Erasing the graffiti
of my mind
My heart
Which throughout my life has been denied many things
It seems
Has beat for the first time in his arms
In doing so
It also effaced the only true friend I ever knew

But how can my life
Be so right and feel so wrong?
My life
So much more than I could have dreamed
So it seems
Til I realize
you are not here
I fear life
No more friends calling
late nite chats on the phone
I know
Missed connections are the result
of my karma
The results
Only strays of the pain I caused you

As I walk through my mind
I reverse the sands of time
To call you
No deliberations about why we parted
Instead, full hearted
we laugh til we are blue in the face
Companionship still intact
We lose track
Of the past
Regret and Forgiveness runs through my veins
No more pain
In vain
For the friend I lost in love
My sister
which departed
Because I followed my heart

I continue to meditate
Bringing me to a new place
But before I can contemplate
what that is
I realize
Its Too late
Like ivy and yellow roses
once facing the sun
Now depleted
Shedding its petals in the wind
My skin
My soul
My body
yearns for a friendship

kinship to the end.
I mourn you my friend
Perhaps sooner than later
You will see
I had to follow my heart instinctively
Cuz if I didn’t
I wouldn’t be
Pregnant
In love
and bout to start a family
With the man
We both loved...
Except he chose me.