only in chicago...

will you experience the joys of all the 4 seasons in one day. Rain and spring-like in the morning, sunny and warm mid morning...windy and chilly in the afternoon..making room for sleet and snow by midnight...Tis' the winter that refused to go away!

I so need to go on a vacation...BLAH!

Picture from Flikr

the official I'm getting old post #2

About 3 years ago when I first noticed grays coming in, I made a decision not to color my hair anymore. My mentality was that I had to enjoy the last few years of my natural hair color while I could, because when I turn gray, I could never go back. I had been dying it so long that I didn't even know what my natural color was anymore. As it was, I spent the last 15 years of my life coloring my hair all shades of brown, red, and blond to declare my individuality, personality and to match my mood. For example, I remember when Bush was inaugurated, I dyed my hair PITCH BLACK to mimic the sadness I felt inside.

Well, that 3 year hiatus might soon be over.

This morning on the way into work, I looked in the mirror on the back of my sun visor only to see..not one, not two...not even three..but like fifteen gray hairs smiling back at me. Now don't get it twisted, gray hairs are not a new thing to me. They were, once upon a time, only strays that popped out to bug me every few months. But now, as I am approaching 30, I'm beginning to see group formations of them infiltrating on all sides of my membrane, almost giving my hair the appearance of slight grayish streaks if you look at it in a certain angle.

How can this be? I'm not even 30 yet! As I hyperventilated and pulled them out one by one between red lights, I looked at the heap of retired grays which I built up on my one hour commute...and realized I shouldn't be fighting the inevitable. I'm no longer a spring chicken (hey don't judge me for piling them up in one little pathetic pile!)

I tried to rationalize: with age, comes wisdom, with wisdom comes acceptance of things you cannot change...and the onslaught of gray hairs definitely falls in that category. It's not all that bad, is it??!! Is it?!! I'm trying to hold out on coloring my hair to hide them. I want to embrace my age, my new found wisdom, all so much. But it's so tempting to just wash it all away in a burnt sienna dye!

But I will abstain as long as I can...gray can be sexy, right??

6.6.6 ~ the day my car was possessed ~

Anyone know a good priest which can do an exorcism on a car ? My 96 corolla was possessed this morning, I tell you! Here's the scoop: for a while now, my car has been giving me problems starting; yet no one could figure out why. This morning, I meagerly attempted to start my car, only for it to stick up it's middle finger to me for a good minute and a half. When I do finally start it, it sputters before turning over. So, finally it starts (yay!), but as I drive it a few feet I notice it sounds strange, so I pull over to park it.

Here's where it starts to get strange: the first thing I do is take out the key out of the ignition, right? AND GET THIS: THE CAR WOULDN'T TURN OFF!! The key is sitting in my lap and the engine is still on!!! So I did what any person in their right mind would: I started freaking out, calling to wake up my boyfriend to explain what was going on. Lo and behold, when I go to open the hood, the engine is going and all the little belts and such are flowing...all without a key in the ignition. That's when the smoke started coming out of the engine like it was on fire. It was horrible! Between waiting for a tow truck and taking it to the shop then hitching a ride from the boyfriend, my possessed car made me over 2 and a half hours late for work. Hopefully, my car is still salvageable and I pray that the mechanic doesn't screw me over like so many tend to do.

I did luck out in one aspect, though...a nice man felt sorry for me as he drove past, so he stopped to help me out in the heat of it all. Turns out he owns a towing company in Chicago and he only charged me $50 for a tow across town!!! I guess it pays to be stranded in a pretty skirt, doesn't it ? (smile)

the city of chicago does it once again

Excuse me while I vent, but I must share the fact that the department of water in chicago royally sucks the big one.

Yesterday I get my water bill: invoice dated 2/3/06, received on 2/15/06, and GET THIS: due 2/23/06, a whole $250. Now sit for a second a just think about that: they gave me a meager fucken week to pay the bill. And of course, if payment is late, I get slammed with late fees. In my opinion, THEY have some balls talking about late fees when they only give people a total of 8 days to prepare their budgets accordingly. What in gods name is that all about ?!! I have seen terms from loan sharks better than this shit.

While the water bill maybe not be as expensive as...say...real estate taxes, it still requires some additional budgeting on the average person's part. I seriously think it's all a conspiracy so the city can get a few extra dollars from all the late payments they receive. This practice is dishonest, extremely annoying, and it makes me mad to even think that our government is partaking in it.

What sucks even more is that I was doing so good with my budget this month. I had plans to pay off some of my debt early and maybe even buy myself some new shoes.

sigh...bye bye Steve Maddens

if i was bush's momma

I'd slap him silly!!!

His $2.77 trillion budget proposal which allocates more money towards war than healthcare and education...is just backwards and ridiculously (excuse my french) FUCKED UP!! I mean, we have been in war for going on 5 years and I have seen nothing positive coming out of it (does anything positive really come out of war? Now that's a whole different conversation that I won't even get into right now). Given that fact, what reason do I, as an American, have to allocate more of my tax dollars to it? NADA!!!

Oh, I'm so mad at this prospect that I'm surprised smoke isn't coming out of my ears and ass...

Does anyone else have a serious problem that if his budget flies (which given his track record with congress, it probably will) the total federal debt would swell to $11.5 trillion by they year 2011? I mean, c'mon now!!!

I seriously think American citizens should have a say on this. I just don't trust Bush and his cronies to make the right decision. And, I'm afraid, we will all have to pay for his budget in more ways than one...

random thought (in denial)

Today while trying not to collapse on the treadmill before I hit my goal of 2.5 miles I thought:

"Because I have short legs does that mean I am burning more calories than this stinking treadmill says? I mean, I know I am running the same distance as a person with legs up to my waist; but theoretically, my legs are so much shorter - making me run twice as fast as people with longer legs just to keep up. Because of this I have to put forth more energy into the movement, making me burning more calories than this damn treadmill says I am! Hell yeah!!! (gasp,ouch,gasp)"

I am CONVINCED that I am burning more calories than that stinking machine says I am!!! Am I crazy or what ?

i'm starting to rethink my stand on Santeria

If anyone's counting, within the past three months:

1) My cars been broken into twice - the latest break-in leaving me without my radio, sirius satelite receiver, amp, and subwoofer

2) I got into a car accident - smashing in the front of above ride

3) My cell phone has been stolen - with the culprit downloading $20 worth of ringtones to the horrendous tunes of songs like "Shawty Callin" and "You'z a Trick"

4) I have suffered constant allergy attacks which have left my nose and lip area raw continuously making me look..well like a fucken tomato.

FUCK IT!!!!

Today I shall drink it all away. Won't you join me ?

the time has come to get real

I don't know about you, but I'm just so sick and tired of seeing these anorexic looking things on my TV screen and in all the magazine ads every day. In my opinion, they are twisted, unrealistic, and unhealthy representations of what society urges women to be. They glorify starving yourself (at least on some degree) and urge women to somehow change who they are to conform to those norms. However, recent ads by major companies are slowing changing that. And that, my friends, is like a fresh breath of fresh air to me.

Can I just start off by saying that I ABSOLUTELY love what Dove has done recently to represent women out there? REAL women which actually have meat on their bones appearing on the side of buses and in subway posters boldly showing off their tattoos and NON size 0 bodies has started a revolution I hope never goes away. It appears that now Nike has jumped on the bandwagon, launching a new ad campaign which celebrates and empowers the bodies of muscular/curvy women who love to work out.

While some of the pictures, I reckon, are not geared towards their target market: extremely active women, I think that the campaign is in the right direction. For example, the picture below of a booty posing in spandex shorts will probably cause a few drool inducing stares by passing men. But, on the same token, who really cares what men get out of it? Its the everyday women that these campaigns call to who really will be positively affected. And those companies smart enough to join in the revolution will see their profits sky rocket, because they in fact have found the key to pitching to all the independent and strong woman in the country.

HMMM...Can it be that these skinny twigs on TV and in print ads will soon have to start actually eating (and not throwing up for a change) to keep their modeling jobs? OH MY!!!




example of Nike's new marketing campaign

helpful reading material

I know I look like a COMPLETE IDIOT reading this book WHILE SMOKING in the smoking room @ work, but I just don't give a %$#@!!!

toe wedgies...

I honestly have to say one of the worst feelings in the world is having a toe wedgie. You know what I'm talking about...when your sock, nylons, or whatever gets caught in between your toes in the midst of your busy day. I HAAAATTTEEE that feeling with every atom in my being. In my book, it's so much worse than regular wedgies, simply because at least regular wedgies are somewhat accessible and easily remedied. Just face opposite a wall (away from prying eyes) and unstick the invading undies...and WA LA! Relief. BUT, toe wedgies are a more complicated beast. To relieve yourself requires a bit more finesse to go by undetected to the outside world. You can try to strategically wiggle your toes way to freedom. You can even try tugging at the top portion of your socks or nylons to persuade the invading material from your toes grasps. But, these tactics are no guarantee against the mighty toe wedgie...and like it or not, they can take quite a while because you can't put your fingers on it. Being that I hate them so much, I find the only surefire quick remedy is running to the bathroom (or hiding under my desk) to take off my shoes to unstick my poor lil toes. Well, today I had to do that a whopping 5 times. That being the case, I think it’s about time to retire those socks I was wearing today. Urg…Can I get a witness?

resume rant

My email box is still being flooded with potential applicants to fulfill my job when I am gone. Whilst looking at a few in particular (I am not naming any names), I can't help but feel a tad bit irritated. With for-shit resumes and cover letters like that, it's no wonder while these people are out of a job. Some email with no cover letter, some just cut and paste their resume in the email in such a way everything is jumbled (so bad I think I need a decoder ring), and half of them cannot spell a word to save their life.

Instead of intensely reading every little line as I did when I started looking at the candidates last week, I have become more particular what I even bother try to read. My guideline is as follows: if looking at it gives me a headache, into the basura it goes ('basura' means garbage is Spanish). The worst to me was this lady who had everything going for her, but fucked it all up when I went to call her. She sent me a wonderful resume detailing all the key points I was looking for (complete with references), but no cover letter, and absolutely no contact information whatsoever on her resume. What type of shit is that? How can you send a resume without a phone number or address on it? I sit here scratching my head trying to grasp what type of moron she must indeed be.

Reading all this horribly written English really is making me cranky. I am really anal when it comes to writing and reading the English language. Needless to say, seeing it butchered like that makes me feel very cynical. I feel like anonymously emailing these idiots with tips for their resume: LIKE "For future reference, use spell check before sending your resume to a potential employer. Enclosed are my recommendations. Please note that all misspelled words are highlighted in red and all grammatical errors are highlighted in blue." or "Next time you send a resume out, please don't be a complete idiot! Make sure there is a way to contact you on your resume that doesn't include hiring a private eye to track you down. Thanks and have a great day!"

AHH! It feels good to be cynical. Mwaahahahaha (evil laugh).

have I mentioned I hate cops ?

My mean streak is showing and I am about to vent all my frustrations out...so here it goes:

I hate to discriminate on any level, bit I swear COPS HATE ME...and truthfully, I don't like them either. In the Chicago suburbs (where I have been working in for the last 3 years) the cops and state troopers are the meanest, most discerning bunch you would ever see. Especially to the likes of me: young looking, a minority, and listening to hip hop music. I once got a ticket for going 23 in a 20 mile zone (but I got that charge reversed-thank god).

Now, I know what you are thinking...this girl got a ticket! Yes, yes I did (a parking ticket). But it was a total lie of a ticket...a sort of sick joke played by Mr. M.R. - the dickhead cop. Get this: he gave me a $120 dollar ticket charging that that my car did not have or did not properly display a city sticker. He must have been on crack or just plain decided to discriminate against my car (maybe due to the fact I have a sticker on the back of my car that told passerbys to do themselves a favor and fuck themselves? -> ha! there’s actually a decent story behind that sticker, but that will be on discussion another day). In any case, its a total falsity of a ticket. I mean, I pay a whopping $80 for that sticker each year, which I proudly display in the appropriate place on my windshield. I will be damned if I have to pay another $120 for doing absolutely nothing wrong. Naturally, being the verbose and opinionated person I am, I wrote the city a nice long letter contesting the ticket AND to file a complaint for the offending officer. It's complete, with pictures of my city sticker and front windshield, a copy of the vehicle city sticker registration card and receipt when I brought the damn thing. I just can’t believe this cop's justification system. The way I figure it, if he falsely persecuted me, he is probably doing it to countless others. As I type I am sending him negative karma...(matter of fact - I hope he develops a bad case of irritable bowel syndrome). Mmwahaha (evil laugh).

I can't believe he's the guy whos supposed to be serving and protecting me. I mean,with his behavior - who needs enemies?

when craigslist goes bad

I love craigslist to death, but there are always people who have to screw up a good thing, and this is no exception. Needless to say, some of the people on craigslist are very screwed up individuals. For instance, today’s posting on Chicago's version in the free section, there was a woman who offered her vagina: (and I quote)

"Available now! Free to someone who actually has a chance to use it! One fully functioning vagina. Over 25 years old but (unfortunately) has never been, um, driven. Well-maintained, all original components, fluid levels normal, has always had yearly tune-ups conducted by a licensed and certified professional. I've had this baby my entire life and have always taken great care of it, but I'm getting tired of all the hassle when I never get to put it to good use. Act now and I'll throw in the entire kit--cervix, uterus, ovaries, fallopian tubes--all for free! Please, take this thing off my hands (literally)!!"

Alrighty then.

Next up, are the mean individuals that actually post something on there to sell or give away for free, then have the audacity to stand you up when you come knocking at their door. Talk about bad karma. C'mon man. I traveled all the way from the other side of the city for XYZ...the least you can do is open the door and tell me it's no longer available and to go away. Geesh. Don't leave me standing around for 15 minutes like a fool for nothing. Next time that happens...i shall email them this appropriate email card. :)