two weeks notice

I will not be put down
By you & your status quo
Not again
For, Like the sun
I will rise
Think again
Cuz there will be no demise
Of my soul...
Can't you see
Through conformity and obedience to you
I fail me
I am more than your depiction of a pale reflection
I got soul
I got heart
I got mind
Robustly beautiful and refined
All to which you were blind
I stand before you
Unafraid to be me
and I’m proud of what I’ve grown into
I’ve left a woman...
Strong to the core
A female who won’t take this shit anymore...

Remembrance of a dream

Today is a very symbolic day for me, a day which holds bittersweet significance because of it's ties to two of my biggest heroes of all time. Today marks the 80th birthday of Maya Angelou, whose words and soliloquies mesmerized me as child. It is because of her writing that I began to pick up the pen to write over twenty years ago. And it is because of her eloquent yet harsh words, the flame inside my heart continues to burn to forever mark me as a poet.

Yet today also marks the 40th year anniversary of the assassination of Dr. Martin Luther King, whose words were just as powerful to me and the nation at large. He preached and dreamt of change via peaceful processes and despite all odds, stood up for everything he believed in.

The fact that an African American man and a White woman are both serious contenders for the White House serves as proof of progress in this country. And even though there is still much to be done in terms of obtaining 'true' social justice for all and his dream has not fully been realized, I believe Dr. King would be proud of where we stand as a nation today. (apart from the war and Bush's stanky ass that is)

"Take the blinders from your vision,
take the padding from your ears,
and confess you've heard me crying,
and admit you've seen my tears.
Hear the tempo so compelling,
hear the blood throb through my veins.
Yes, my drums are beating nightly,
and the rhythms never change.
Equality, and I will be free.
Equality, and I will be free"

~ taken from Maya Angelou's poem titled "Equality"

ode to our soldiers

Tears fall like rain for soldiers
Kept prisoner by a call to duty for lies
Holding the brunt of the war behind their eyes
Nightly fighting nightmares laced with sounds of baby cries
Nighmares that their friend has died...and died all over again

My heart cries out for these soldiers
Most are young, inexperienced, and
Have unwillingly became the martyr for their government
Who sacrificed their lives just to get ahead
And lead them astray amid gunfire
A government that will have forgotten them
Minutes after the blood and tears have been shed
Minutes after their Purple hearts of lead and muscles of fury used to bring forth
Democracy...
Democracy which has long set sail to prevail
to brainwash the meak
to break down their fleets and bring forth oil

These young soldiers did not enlist for this
Lives amiss
Even If they survive
will they ever truly mend?
Truth is many of their souls are lost
never to be found again
Sacrifice scars their blackened faces
Eyes fill with loss of life and destruction
Bullets and bombs torn through hearts leaves families in mourning
Sons and daughter taken without warning
Who would have known the consequences of swearing allegiance to the flag?
The consequences...of freedom?

I refuse to think of the stresses bearing down on me...
I won't tend to wounds that continue to bleed
Instead
I pour my soul on paper and let things subside as they may
Tears fall apart at the seams of my eyes...like the reality that is falling around me
My loss of faith and patience has left me standing here alone
with
Head pounding
Wrist slashing thoughts
FUCK IT ALL
AND KISS IT ALL GOOD BYE
Though morbid thoughts wander in my mind...I know
Life is precious...
I could never come to that
Somehow, I am stronger than I appear
Yet I find myself screaming in dreams
My tears falling to the depths of earth...
My boyfriend's arms, once home to me
unable to chase demons that have me in choke holds
I stand alone
My emotions mixed through the blender of life
I stand afraid
I am tired
And angry and sad
Yet somehow...deep down I have hope
Hope for the future
Hope for happiness
Hope for anything but this...

I stand before you
Unsure of life
Unsure of me
Unsure of love
I question you
With heart and soul and mind
"there's only you" you utter in reply
But fading glimmers
In shifty eyes
Tell me otherwise...

mistaken identity

How can this be ?
The one whose
other half completes me
the one who
I hold nothing back for

How is it that this man
is so oblivious to everything I stand for?
How is that my love
So strong, so pure
In no case is it demure
Goes by undetected?

My love...
just to see you smile
my heart leaps bounds
around my soul
knowing I have found
the true meaning of happiness
wrapped in your kiss

Yet still...
How can this be?
Can't you see me
Arms open
Heart aflame
Waiting for you?!

Your minds eye plays tricks
Sabotaging our love
Evaporating words spoken so truly
Turning them to dust

How can this be?
A case of mistaken identity
You think you see through me
But mistake me for someone else
Perhaps from your past
Or perhaps for yourself
And in the process...
You’re crucifying our love
Which stands tall through it all
But baby, it's battered

Now, how can you think your thoughts do not matter ?
Saying this like its everyday conversation
That's what hurts me the most
Shattering my hopes
of this divine love which I found in you

So to you I implore
how do you think we can just ignore
these feelings and still push forth?
Just tell me...
How can we achieve true happiness
When these thoughts of doubt are splattered
On our souls?
Forming a cloud around each kiss
Denying ourselves true happiness?

These feelings can no longer be denied
Open your eyes
And...
See past your fears
Know in your heart
I will be by your side for many years

I love you in soo many ways
Words cannot convey
These feelings
So deep
I get beside myself just thinking about you

You are my air
You are my life
For our love I will forever fight
Otherwise,
My life just wouldn't seem right

Maybe one day you will see
Just how much our love means to me
Til that day
I will pray
that you will look my way
And see LOVE.

Mike....

In love...
I take you in
With eyes and heart aflame
Your essence
Engulfs me
We are one and the same
In love...

tears which flow for no reason at all...

There is no rhyme or reason to my tears
they come and fall at their own discretion
each entering the world from the corners of my eyes
only to die on the axis of my chin
each tear stands unique
finding pain and beauty in the intricacies
my soul has woven
each a subtle reminder of life

despite myself...
I still bear long forgotten baggage
it rolls over me in the form of tears
they roll down my face
inexplicably opening the floodgates of my soul
held inside for over 27 years

enter stage...poetry

Reversing the psyche of regret

Double bladed regret
Let me slip into your self pshyche
words and images unfold the untold
/thoughts so deep you did't even know they are there/
Instead you
Block it out
Foreshadowed in self doubt
you let them take advantage of your innocence...
of your heart...
set out from the start to impart lonliness onto your unknowing heart
But thats just the start
CUZ
this path you laid out
like tarot cards on the floor
and somewhere through this mess
you've come to expect
the regrets
so deeply set
in your mind
so take this time
make boundary lines ands define
what you are
And what you are not
double dot those i's
as you then watch your spirit soar high
grow dem wings you never knew you had inside
AND JUST FLY !!

Written by : dragonflypurity (time unknown : maybe 2004-2005)


tag, i'm it: [poetry]

intoxicated love

My man with a heart of gold
I stare into your eyes
I am....drowsy from meds
yet am not to far off the map

My heart take a step back to...
witness you in all your glory
My man w/ a heart of gold
Blind from love
Calling me beautiful despite a red nose and eyes

Laying beside you...
I've come to realize
You save me from myself
My man with a heart of gold
Mahal Kita...

scribed by dragonflypurity circa 04/12/06

my verbal therapy

depression

sadness envelopes us all
waiting for our fall
so it can take hold
and
hold you captive all alone
but not alone.

It's a narcotic tricks your mind and heart to believe so
Just look around and see....no one.

the silent treatment

I dream of revealing my soul to you
the center of it all
my black and blue heart
the result of...silence

I can't deny it
Though my heart wants to fight it
Silence speaks volumes over words
And I find myself speechless

I fear even if words did come
No matter how discrete
They'd form concrete
Somehow holding us down

But...
What if I did tell you
My dreams and fears
Finally reveal myself to you after all these years
Will my words of truth
fall on deaf ears?
Or will you ignore it
Thinking I got lit and I'm just giving you lip
Chalking it up to more of my crazy shit ?

I sometimes wonder
Can you feel my silence engulf you as we become one?
Long after its said and done...
Do you look at me and wonder what's become...of us
Do you know
I dream of painting you my world?
Taking you on the grand tour
Yet I wake up to find yet again
silence reigns supreme
Somehow I'm frozen
Beside myself...in love

These unspoken words
Have spoke dimensions more than the words themselves
leaving me sad & lonely
feeling somewhat phony
with you at my side

stupidity patrol

Gut wrenching lies pry into un-wanting ears
Preying on fears
And trying to get into hearts of America

Have you heard the news?
The stupid man is in town
Unknowingly looking like a clown
Its absurd how he prances around the tv
Eyes aglow with ignorance stupidity

As I turn of the tube
I think:

He
Is not
My
President

He
Will not
Define
ME

He
Will not
Take
MY FREEDOMS
Without
a fight

I am a member of the stupidity patrol


**For those who don't know, Bush was in Chicago a few days ago. This is what came out when I saw the news**

just a freestyle piece

Today may be not what I dreamed
and it seems
my future will continue to be full of hardships,
lined in tears and the desperate biting of lips
I must come to the realization that
tomorrow may not flip the past
instead I see the future everlast in familiar cycles of self doubt
which tends to clout
all my decisions
subliminally erasing my original mission
to be all I can be & to love myself

the question remains
will I be woman enough to be my own hero ?
I feel superwoman and wonderwoman wrapped under my skin.
Are they waiting for this moment in time to unleash my true essence -
just needing this time to teach me hard knock lessons??
Confession: Lately I find myself
self doubting no more because I had the balls to implore myself
massaging pieces of my soul back to life
slowly healing the strife
sadness, tears, and fear obliterate
while they float into outer space
and I shall be saved from the old me
the one plagued with insecurities
and you shall see
they shall name a hero after me
and her name shall be CHICA EXCELENTE

I will never forget today

Dedicated to the cat who got his hat turned back on the corner of my block this morning

Redemption song
March 3, 2005

Splattered blood
Falling to the sound of the sun rise
Flying above - a bird sings his song
As blood stains concrete corners
Spilling into rose bushes
Whose flower petals are no longer white
Their buds of life smell of death

The chalk line of his body
Leaves the living with many questions
Many which have no answers
leaving just the abyss his life has become
I know him not
This young cat
But he is my neighbor
His skin once brown like mine -proof he’s family
I can’t help but mourn for humanity
as I walk past the yellow tape
tears flow freely for his soul
and for the faces of them before him
I say a prayer as I pick a blood stained rose
And place it in my hair

May he find the redemption on the other side
which escaped him in life.

pablo neruda...

Earlier this week would have been Pablo Nerudas 100th birthday. Being the poetess I am, I busted out and dusted out my Pablo Neruda poetry book and delved deep inside his words to find myself highly inspired this morning. Here's one of my favorite poems he wrote. Enjoy.

"The Word" - Taken from: ‘Plenos poderes’

It was born
in blood, the word
grew in the dark body, beating
and flew through the lips and the mouth.

Further, and nearer
still, still it came
from dead fathers, nomadic races,
from lands made of stone,
that were tired of their wretched tribes,
because when pain set out on the way
the villages walked and arrived
and new earth and water joined again
to sow their words anew.
And so this is the legacy:
this is the air which connects us
to the dead man and the dawn
of new beings not yet woken.

The atmosphere still trembles
with the first word
formed
in panic and moans.
It rose
from the shadows
and even now no thunder
yet thunders with the clang
of that word
the first
word spoken:
perhaps it was only a sigh, a drop,
and yet its cascade falls and falls.

Then sense fills the word.
The word was made pregnant and filled with lives.
It was all births and cries:
affirmation, clarity, force,
negation, destruction, death:
the verb assumed all those powers
and merged existence and essence
in the electricity of her beauty.

Word, human, syllabic, pelvis
of wide light and solid silver,
hereditary cup that receives
the communication of blood:
here is where silence was fused
in the total human word
and not to speak is to be dying among beings:
language springs from the roots of the hair,
the mouth talks without the lips moving:
the eyes of a sudden are words.

I take the word and traverse it
as if it were solely human form,
its lineaments delight me and I fly
through each resonance of language:
I pronounce and I am and I reach without speech
the silence at the end of words.

I drink to the word, lifting
a word or a glass of crystal,
in it I drink
the wine of language
or the interminable waters
maternal fount of words,
and glass and water and wine
originate my song
because the verb is the origin
and the living channel: it is blood
the blood that speaks its substance
and so is ready to flow:
giving crystal to crystal, blood to blood
and giving life to life, the words.

no where to hide

We wear a 1000 faces of pretense
hoping the lens of others cant penetrate to the core
Yet there are no disguises for thyself
No masks to wear to subdue self reflecting the meaning
Of your very own soul
And I am no exception
My heart beats drums of
3rd eye popping virginity
strumming life
Since conception
I was destined for that clarified moment of peace
And
For the first time
I am not blind
I can look at myself and be proud
Though
I can’t recall
The exact second
That I knew true meaning of me
Because I discarded old masks
I can stare at the mirror
Of my mental
And know who’s staring back at me

Copyright by Dragonflypurity

the new house

what words
have smashed against
these walls,
crashed up and down these halls, lain mute and then drained
their meanings out and into
these floors?

What feelings, long since
dead,
streamed vague yearnings
below this ceiling
light?
In some dimension
which I cannot know,
the shadows of
another still exists. I bring my
memories, held too long in check,
to let them here shoulder
space and place to be.

And when I leave to
find another house,
I wonder, what among
these shades will be
left of me.

- Maya Angelou -

Ever find something you wrote a long time ago and even forgot existed?

Serenity
Uncovered Dec 16, 2003

I need serenity
A place to rest my tired soul
Which throughout my short life has grown so old
My heart, once open & warm is now cold as stone
I say this knowing it’s no one fault but my own
So I package it up in my poems and watch it flow away & pass like an eye of a storm

Create in myself some peace of mind
A moment in time where life’s daily grind can’t confine…my soul
No longer let circumstances and pain take control
Let life’s ebb & flow of emotion just go…away from me
Attempt to let my 3rd eye of self discovery set me free
Meet head on with my destiny
With God’s help I can achieve many things
Not just for myself, but for other human beings

There are so many things that escape my mental grasp
But through knowledge and self loving I know my ignorance will pass
Pick up the remaining broken glass called my life
Never giving up in the fight of self mastery
Find home inside my mind and thorugh my rhymes
and...
That’s when it hit me!
My out of control, tired soul FOUND SERENITY!

waking up in his arms

waking up in his arms
i feel
the biggest joy
his arms embracing me
a gentle reminder
of love
heavenly perfection
asleep at my side
I stare like a child with
sugar coated eyes and smile and soul
knowing that when
we arise together
arms intertwined
that it will be
all that I dreamed
while asleep in his embrace
love is love
and his arms are my home

Copyright of dragonflypurity