I refuse to think of the stresses bearing down on me...
I won't tend to wounds that continue to bleed
Instead
I pour my soul on paper and let things subside as they may
Tears fall apart at the seams of my eyes...like the reality that is falling around me
My loss of faith and patience has left me standing here alone
with
Head pounding
Wrist slashing thoughts
FUCK IT ALL
AND KISS IT ALL GOOD BYE
Though morbid thoughts wander in my mind...I know
Life is precious...
I could never come to that
Somehow, I am stronger than I appear
Yet I find myself screaming in dreams
My tears falling to the depths of earth...
My boyfriend's arms, once home to me
unable to chase demons that have me in choke holds
I stand alone
My emotions mixed through the blender of life
I stand afraid
I am tired
And angry and sad
Yet somehow...deep down I have hope
Hope for the future
Hope for happiness
Hope for anything but this...