resume rant

My email box is still being flooded with potential applicants to fulfill my job when I am gone. Whilst looking at a few in particular (I am not naming any names), I can't help but feel a tad bit irritated. With for-shit resumes and cover letters like that, it's no wonder while these people are out of a job. Some email with no cover letter, some just cut and paste their resume in the email in such a way everything is jumbled (so bad I think I need a decoder ring), and half of them cannot spell a word to save their life.

Instead of intensely reading every little line as I did when I started looking at the candidates last week, I have become more particular what I even bother try to read. My guideline is as follows: if looking at it gives me a headache, into the basura it goes ('basura' means garbage is Spanish). The worst to me was this lady who had everything going for her, but fucked it all up when I went to call her. She sent me a wonderful resume detailing all the key points I was looking for (complete with references), but no cover letter, and absolutely no contact information whatsoever on her resume. What type of shit is that? How can you send a resume without a phone number or address on it? I sit here scratching my head trying to grasp what type of moron she must indeed be.

Reading all this horribly written English really is making me cranky. I am really anal when it comes to writing and reading the English language. Needless to say, seeing it butchered like that makes me feel very cynical. I feel like anonymously emailing these idiots with tips for their resume: LIKE "For future reference, use spell check before sending your resume to a potential employer. Enclosed are my recommendations. Please note that all misspelled words are highlighted in red and all grammatical errors are highlighted in blue." or "Next time you send a resume out, please don't be a complete idiot! Make sure there is a way to contact you on your resume that doesn't include hiring a private eye to track you down. Thanks and have a great day!"

AHH! It feels good to be cynical. Mwaahahahaha (evil laugh).