toe wedgies...

I honestly have to say one of the worst feelings in the world is having a toe wedgie. You know what I'm talking about...when your sock, nylons, or whatever gets caught in between your toes in the midst of your busy day. I HAAAATTTEEE that feeling with every atom in my being. In my book, it's so much worse than regular wedgies, simply because at least regular wedgies are somewhat accessible and easily remedied. Just face opposite a wall (away from prying eyes) and unstick the invading undies...and WA LA! Relief. BUT, toe wedgies are a more complicated beast. To relieve yourself requires a bit more finesse to go by undetected to the outside world. You can try to strategically wiggle your toes way to freedom. You can even try tugging at the top portion of your socks or nylons to persuade the invading material from your toes grasps. But, these tactics are no guarantee against the mighty toe wedgie...and like it or not, they can take quite a while because you can't put your fingers on it. Being that I hate them so much, I find the only surefire quick remedy is running to the bathroom (or hiding under my desk) to take off my shoes to unstick my poor lil toes. Well, today I had to do that a whopping 5 times. That being the case, I think it’s about time to retire those socks I was wearing today. Urg…Can I get a witness?