It's a shame that the woman's body is once again a legal battleground

picture from life and liberty for women


**please note the last half of this entry is from an archived post. I put it there to explain more in depth my feelings about abortion

I still can't believe it...South Dakota has officially ripped women living within its borders of their right to an abortion...even in cases or rape and/or incest. Obviously, they don't give a rat's ass about a woman's well being in the least bit. Talk about some extremist conservative bullshit!!!

My heart cries out in pain for all the women subjected to this crap before Roe n Wade, and even more so for the women living in South Dakota who will be forced to do their own abortions or leave the state just to get the procedure done. Bush and his cronies undoubtedly are beginning their plot to overturn Roe n Wade, this I am sure of.

Women of the nation, we must unite!! Please sign a petition to keep abortion legal in your state:

It's Happened in South Dakota - Protect Choice in Your State Now! Petition

(begin archived post)

Today women worldwide rallied for their reproductive right to choose abortion. While I may be pro life for myself, I am definitely pro choice for other women. I truly believe in a woman's right to decide what happens to her body and don't think the government, religious institutions, or even family members should have any say in whether she should have a baby or not. Its a woman's prerogative and since she is the one who will be raising and caring for her child, she should be the only one to ultimately decide whether she should bring it into the world or not.

Now don't get me wrong, I do not take abortion lightly, especially since I recently found out that my own life was almost put to a premature end through abortion. My mom seriously considered aborting me when she found out she was pregnant because my parents simply couldn't afford another child. Then, she simply fell in love with me, and decided to have me despite all the money issues. Of course I'm thankful, and this revelation gave me a whole new perspective on abortion...

...but I still think abortion is a woman's right and not a privilege. Many of these pro life activists judge and speak against a subject matter which they ultimately have never been forced to consider. I mean, all these people who call abortion murder obviously never had to deal with living in extreme poverty to the point that they are forced to nearly starve because they are obliged to give their children whatever limited amount of food they have. When they find themselves pregnant yet again, they are forced to make the hard decision on whether they can feasibly feed, clothe and care for another child.

These activists have never been in the shoes of a scared young single teenager who's "loving boyfriend" which she gave everything to (including her virginity) left her, with no support system, with no money to support herself, none the less support a child. While some may say she was stupid to begin with by getting knocked up, this is not a perfect world; sex is human nature and teenagers are increasingly sexual active. Even people who are protected sexually end up with babe 9 months later.

There are countless situations where women have to choose abortion over becoming a mother. It's not an easy decision for anyone to have to consider. It's a scary, sad, and very personal decision that no one has the right to control except the woman herself. Pro life advocates may call these women murderers and whores and insist that its necessary for these women keep their children, but they do nothing to help these women out. They can say what they want, but they will not help these women raise their kids, and they certainly will not provide any monetary or psychological support for these children. Shit, they are just trying to force women who OBVIOUSLY do not want or cannot feasibly have more children to adhere to their ideals and religious beliefs. What's worse to me, is that these children, if they were brought into this world, would most probably be raised in very undesirable and dire circumstances. This ultimately just increases the number of people living in destitution and just increases the gap of poverty in the US. Sigh!!

What I really don't understand about all these right wing republicans (i.e. BUSH & gang) is their wide support of the death penalty (is that not murder as well? I thought they were PRO LIFE), and their rollbacks on laws protecting the environment (are they not supporting the poisoning of us & all the children of the world by lowering these standards?). It's frustrating to me. If they truly wanted to get to the root of this problem and reduce or eliminate abortion, they should at least make birth control and health care widely available to all those who need it in the US. Maybe then, there would be a HUGE drop in the numbers of abortions performed. But of course, that will never happen...So I continue to say:

"To all the haters...its our bodies, not yours (so suck a lemon)"...That is all.

have an orgasmic experience with your ipod !!

ohhh...ahhhh...


The new ipod vibrator tops the list of the most eccentric ipod accessories. But for all the freak-a-deeks out there, it just might be the perfect gift!!!

Taken from TechEBlog's Top 10 Strangest iPod Accessories list via Kerry

nightmares

"All things one has forgotten scream for help in dreams."
Author: Elias Canetti
Source: Die Provinz der Menschen

I rarely remember my dreams. The few I do remember are usually gruesome, scary, and undeniably, are my worst fears come to life. Sometimes I wake up scared, not remembering the exact details of what I was dreaming, but more often than not, I remember every haunting detail...and it never fails to stick with me all day following.

Last night was no exception to the rule. I had a series of dreams which I just cant get out of my mind. They are haunting me.

Dream #1: I dreamt I was kidnapped by a neighbor (whom I can't place his face). He was a fat latino man with a tattoo on his chest of a skull inside a heart. I remember him breaking down my door and killing my dog by grabbing him by the neck and cracking it. He dragged me into his house, which I realize now, was nowhere near my current neighborhood.

Once inside, the stench of ass and mold engulfed me as I looked round the brown and green furniture. I tried kicking and screaming, but he taped up my mouth and took me into his bathroom. He went to grab a beer after he tied one of my hands to the handle bar of his bath tub with a rope. He got undressed, put water in the tub, and tried drowning me. I remember the feeling of water entering my lungs. All I could do is grab anything I could...I was able to grab his beer bottle. So I smashed it against his head, broke it in half, and stabbed him in the heart. Blood was everywhere. With a shred of the bottle, I cut open the rope and freed myself, cutting my hands badly in the process. I thought I was free. Then all I remember is hearing a gun shot from what appeared to be nowhere and seeing blood come out of my stomach...gushing all over my dog, who for some reason was at my feet, still dead. I cried, grabbed him, and died myself...

I woke up, freaked out. Realizing it was a dream and my pooch was snoring peacefully beside my bed, I was able to fall asleep a few minutes later.

Dream #2: I am in a hospital walking down hallways full of nurses & doctors. I seem to be invisible, kinda floating around...no one noticing or talking to me as I walked. I knew I was there to see my father. As I walked the hall, I am able to see people laying in their beds. I saw too many people, sick and lonely in their beds, looking at the hall in anticipation of friends and family they hope come to visit them soon.

I stop outside the room I am sure my father is waiting for me in. Tears start flowing at the thought of what I am about to endure; the scene I know will change my outlook on life, that will somehow define and/or scar me forever. I walk in to see my father smiling yet frail...pale beyond belief. I notice he is missing his foot, now a stub. And as I reach down to kiss him on his bald little head, he stares at me and dies...

All I hear is screams and its coming from inside my head. I pound the bed. I can't see because tears and sunlight have clouded my eyes. And as I look at his face, devoid of life, I faint.

I woke up and tears were still on my face. I must have been talking or something in my sleep, because when I awake my dog is staring at me like I'm on crack.

I get out of bed, wash my face and notice it is 2:45 in the morning. I smoke a cigarette. I crawl back in bed and fall asleep again.

Dream #3: It feels like a continuation of Dream #2. I am at my parent's house. We are sitting down to eat dinner. My father is absent. I know in my heart he is gone, dead. I never got to say goodbye. I never got to tell him thank you for everything he has taught me and gave me. My heart fills with sadness as I realize I am now a fatherless child.

This is when I wake up, shaking & crying. I can't stop sobbing, even though I know they were all dreams, not reality. All I can do is pray. In between sobs, I prayed like there was no tomorrow. Now, I am not an overly religious person, but this was the only thing that could calm me down. After about 15 minutes, tears subsided. But for the life of me, I couldn't go back to sleep. I stared at the ceiling for over an hour listening...to nothing.

I know the reason for all these dreams and it hits me hard. I may post the root of my fears at a later time, but for now: I need to think and deal with the issues here.

Undeniably, I am scared shitless and don't know what to do...

internal observation number 1

Why is it that I'm so hard on myself ?
Why, when I foul up, am I so disappointed in ME ?
Being an over-acheiver in every sense of the word, I hate the feeling of failure

I know everyone makes mistakes, and that its part of life. But, its especially hard for me to come to grips with the fact that my hands (or my words) did more harm than good.

Hours have passed and I am still fuming at my stupid mistake. While everyone else seemed so forgiving of me, I could not let my actions go without nagging myself with shoulda, coulda, woulda's.

I know all that negative energy can't be good for anyone, yet I can't stop from over-internalizing all my own fears and flaws whenever I fall in life.

Thus, my goal of the day is to realize I'm only human and more importantly just to Get over it!!

the city of chicago does it once again

Excuse me while I vent, but I must share the fact that the department of water in chicago royally sucks the big one.

Yesterday I get my water bill: invoice dated 2/3/06, received on 2/15/06, and GET THIS: due 2/23/06, a whole $250. Now sit for a second a just think about that: they gave me a meager fucken week to pay the bill. And of course, if payment is late, I get slammed with late fees. In my opinion, THEY have some balls talking about late fees when they only give people a total of 8 days to prepare their budgets accordingly. What in gods name is that all about ?!! I have seen terms from loan sharks better than this shit.

While the water bill maybe not be as expensive as...say...real estate taxes, it still requires some additional budgeting on the average person's part. I seriously think it's all a conspiracy so the city can get a few extra dollars from all the late payments they receive. This practice is dishonest, extremely annoying, and it makes me mad to even think that our government is partaking in it.

What sucks even more is that I was doing so good with my budget this month. I had plans to pay off some of my debt early and maybe even buy myself some new shoes.

sigh...bye bye Steve Maddens

Happy Valentines Day

Happy Valentines Day to everyone! :)

Even though today is just another hallmark holiday, enjoy it by doing something wonderful for YOURSELF.

AND REMEMBER: YOU'RE WORTH MORE THAN WORDS ON A CARD CAN EVER SAY

tag..I'm it !!

Being that I am incredibly bored this morning at work & that I was tagged by erinblog yesterday, here goes another meme to entertain me...er I mean you!

Four Jobs I've had:
1. I was a matchmaking consultant for an upscale dating agency (I actually was responsible for 2 marriages!!)
2. I also managed condos in the Printers Row area in Chicago for a year in college
3. I helped managed free after school tutoring for children in need
4. Now, I'm a marketing database manager at Kellogg School of Management

Four movies I can watch over and over:
1. Frida
2. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
3. The Notebook
4. City of God

Four places I've lived:
1. Chicago, IL (north side)
2. Chicago, IL (west side)
3. Chicago, IL (northwest side)
4. You guessed it, Chicago, IL (near south side)

Four TV shows I love:
1. Sex & the City
2. The Simpsons
3. That 70's Show
4. The Boondocks

Four places I've vacationed:
1. Cancun, Mexico
2. All over the island of Puerto Rico
3. California (San Jose, Los Angeles, San Francisco, Sacramento)
4. Las Vegas

Four of my favorite dishes:
1. Pizza, with extra cheese, sliced tomatoes, fresh basil, and sausage. Yummy!!
2. My moms Arroz con Gandules with pork chops
3. Slow-cooked coutry style ribs
4. Homemade chicken fajitas with refried beans, cilantro, salsa verde, and lots of veggies

Four sites I visit daily:
1. BBC
2. Craigslist
3. Google (search engine, news, and g-mail)
4. Several sites listed on my blogroll

Four places I would rather be right now:
1. In bed, sleeping, with my arms wrapped around my boyfriend
2. On a plane, set to go on vacation (anywhere warm please)
3. At home, playing catch or tug of war with my mutt
4. Ditching work and sitting in some cozy and quiet cafe drinking green tea and reading the latest edition of the reader

Four bloggers I am tagging:
1. Mickey Glitter
2. Curly Girl
3. Mexirican
4. Jacqueline