Wednesday, March 31, 2004

learning html is easy easy as 1-2-3

Well, since I got this blog, I have slowly but surely started to learn how to use & manipulate HTML. It's been a long and frustrating process, not because the material itself is hard to learn but because each coded line is an exact process of perfection. If you mistype one thing, your whole template looks like it got hit with an ugly stick. Thank god for the erase changes button on blogger!!! I started personalizing this site as much as my html limited mind could and I'm aware that the additions to my blog are small, BUT to me, its like I conquered a mountain. And this is just the beginning. Look forward to more changes in the site design & color soon. :)


I lay before you
on a lazy sunday afternoon
While becoming one
Tears fall down cheeks
Raw emotions running for love
Double Edged Sword
Candy Coated
Dripping between my thighs
Your eyes meet mine
Pain is lifted
Resurfacing between your soul & mine...
Just long enough for my tears to fall again


We are all survivors of life
That is, until we die
Then we can say we rode it all the way home

Tuesday, March 30, 2004

wow !

Has anyone heard the new Janet Jackson cd yet? Through the years, Ms. Jackson has turned herself into a full fledged FREAK!!! With song titles like "Moist", "sexhibition" and "Warmth", I could tell by just reading the cover that she was on some freaky shit. But nothing could prepare me for track # 15: it just made my mouth drop. Its called "Warmth". And obviously, from thre lyrics, you can tell shes talking about giving head. And I Quote: "My hands wrapped around - Stroking up and down - But nothing can compare to The warmth of my mouth". Sounds like Ms. Janet knows whats shes talking about. But, by far, the best part of the song (at least in my opinion) is at the end - "Start off slow -Circles -Then deeper and deep it goes -Kisses so sensual - Tasteful- I love giving you a show- The warmth of my...Do you like that? NOW ITS MY TURN" NOW...Thats what I'm talking about!!!! You go gurl! Do your thang. hee hee hee.

Friday, March 26, 2004


Well today I am recuperating from a 3 hour marathon of working out yesterday. I have had so much on my mind lately and soo much unused energy, I worked out like a madwoman last night to wash it all away and clear my mind. I am sore, but the worst part is my ass! My ass? You are saying..YES..because I actually took a cycling class for the first time last night & I MUST SAY that bike seat violated me in ways even my bf hasn't. (hee hee) Literally, my whole butt region is tender and I am actually kinda walking bowl legged. (blush) I feel like I had some crazy and rough sex last night...then I remember...NOPE! it was that blasted bike seat. Hee hee.

Anyway, today is rainy is in Chicago. And while I like the rain, all this blah humbug weather is really starting to take a toll on me. I miss the SUN !!! My pale ass legs and arms are dying to get a suntan this year. Hopefully, by the late spring I will have a new HOUSE with a nice backyard to barbeque in, read a book on the lawn (or with a hammock...which would be nice) on a lazy afternoon. OHH! I can't wait to find a decent house & move out. My independence is calling me. NOW...if only I could find a 2 flat in decent condition (in a decent neighborhood) where my bedroom is not the size of an anthill.

ON A TOTALLY DIFFERENT SUBJECT: While reading my previous posts, I realized that somewhere along the line I have become POLITICAL. AAHH Scary!!! I never was in to rallies, protests, publicly shunning the president of our proud country in the past, but recent happenings have totally changed my perspective on the government and my involvement it it's policies. I post these POLITICAL thoughts in hopes of somehow freeing this need to scream and yell and pull out all my hair because of (in my opinion) Bush's administrations multiple fuck ups. I do not post anything on here to change peoples ideas or opinions or try to offend anyone in any way. Hopefully, you can accept that as one of my MANY traits and move on. BUT, if you can't respect that, then so be it & bounce. (don't let the cyber door hit you on the way out) :) Now that I got that off my chest, I FEEL much better.

Wednesday, March 24, 2004

over 100 new species of fishes found

Over a hundred new species of sea crawlers and fish have been found in the Tasman sea Of them all, I though the coolest one was the angler fishes, where the male bites into the female & sucks her blood in return for sperm. Then their skin bonds and they are permanently connected. They actually found females with as much as 6 males on them. WOW !!!

Bush oks legislation: Gov't can fire gays based on sexual orientation

Is it me, or is this really fucked up? Nobody, and I mean NOBODY should be fired based on their sexual orientation. This crosses the line! Slowly but surely, the rights and liberties of our sisters and brothers are being stripped away by this man. HE NEEDS TO BE FIRED !!

it's raining in chi-town

Today I am sooo loving the rain: the smell of wet ground, the feel of drops upon my face. It really made me feel alive this morning. I really needed that, as I woke up cranky and irritated that I had to get up to take my butt to work. It's weird how becoming an adult, in my opinion, is like growing into slavery in our society. I woke up feeling like a slave to my job. Every day I get up to work and by the time I get out, the whole day is pretty much spent and I am exhausted. At times, I feel like I do not have any time to relax, have fun, hang loose, or just have some quality time with ME. Anyway, back to the just made me realize that none of it matters. That life is what it is, both for better and/or worse. I know one day my life won't be so monotonous.

Oh! The peace rally and march on Saturday was awesome. I never felt soo much love in one place at all. There were people of all races, ages, and backgrounds and they all were COOL as hell. Supposedly there was about 5,000 of us in Chicago that came out for the occasion, but it didn't seem THAT packed to me. I made my rounds around the area pretty easily taking pictures and checking out the various booths that were scattered around. Reverend Jackson also spoke, which was kinda cool. I took a few pictures of people and their powerful & creative signs. I hope to post them soon in my yahoo briefcase. My favorite was an elderly white man (who in my opinion looked like an apostle or something with long white hair & a long white beard). He had a sigh that said "who would Jesus bomb ?" It was just so powerful to me.

Works picking up so I gotta go. Peace & love.

Friday, March 19, 2004

i've have a song stuck in my head for 2 days straight!!

I've have had Cee-los "my kind of people" song stuck in my head for 2 whole days now. I swear, last night I couldn't sleep because it was stuck in there and I just wanted to shake my ass to it. hee hee. I just love that song. I have yet to buy his cd, but I will make that a priority this weekend.

On another note, "dawn of the dead" comes out today. I have seriously thought about going to see it to get over my fear of those living dead movies. For those who don't know, I have had recurring dreams about the living dead from time to time ever since I was a child. In these dreams, the living dead are invading and eating everyone, and for some fucked up reason, I am the only one that can save the world. Yeah, funny, but oh sooo true and frightening to me. By the way...a special thanks goes out to my older bro who used to chase me around the house screaming "brains..i want to eat your brains" when I was a child for engraining that fear in me. Now, I am no chicken by most means and can watch gore, horror, suspense, whatever..but those living dead movies really freak me out. I couldn't even see Resident Evil. BBBUUUTTT, I might just bite the bullet and go see this movie to see if I can overcome this fear once and for all. Wish me luck. :)

give peace a chance...

Tomorrow marks the horrid one year anniversary of the one of the biggest mistakes in US history..the US invasion of Iraq. Granted, Hussien is a dickhead and murderer of his own people (any many others), but we have caught him already. Also, there is no evidence of ANY weapons of Mass Destruction to be found. SO my question is..why are we still there? Why are people still dying for a cause that has no grounds to begin with? There is no logical explanation in my opinion why we still are there and everything Bush and Colin Powell say is full of baloney. This war was not about W.O.M.D. but about our leaders eyeing the oil that is so plentiful out there. You mark my words.

Anyway, being the militant modern day hippy that I am, I will join millions of protestors worldwide to PEACEFULLY demonstrate against the war. There will be a march and rally in downtown Chicago and across many cities worldwide. While some may see this as silly and feel that our protests will fall on death ears, I see it as one of the only ways to get my voice heard. This war is an abomination of the innocent Iraqi people who have done no wrong. Anyway, before I start preaching, check out the site which is helping coordinate an International A.N.S.W.E.R. to the War (Act Now to Stop War & End Racism!). As John Lennon would say "All we are give peace a chance."


Wednesday, March 17, 2004

dayum it!!!

man...why does stuff always happen to me? Get this. I am all dressed nice and pretty for my job interview at 3 o clock and while happily chatting with my chat buddy...I splurted out my green tea all over my light lavender dress shirt!! The horror. Damn him for making me laugh sooo hard !! SO...I ran to the bathroom to scrub away the stain, and now I have a large water stain on my boob. I can't even tell if I got the stain out because its soo wet. For my sake I hope I did. It would not be good walking into an interview with a huge stain on the whole front side of my shirt. Sigh. Well...if worst comes to worst, I can always run home to change, but that would be cutting it a little close. Oh wells. What can you do ? Right? Right.

On another note, I barely made it to the voting booth right before it was closing yesterday. I had to cut my workout short, but it was well worth it. What’s funny is that I can't get it right!!! Now, I am not a moron, and I CAN COUNT..But every time I vote, for some reason I always..and I mean ALWAYS over vote or undervote ! Its simply embarrassing. I do exactly what it says, the only thing I can think of is that the machine is in error (which is more believable to me since I am sooo anal...hee hee), a result of chads (damn them chads), OR I am slap happy with the little pen thingie that you use. Either way, it is a bizarre experience and I can only hope that which ever category I overvoted for yesterday was not very important, say like a commissioner or judge (I had no idea who most of those people were anyway).

WHOO HOOO!!! My stain is disappeared! Thank god!! :)

Tuesday, March 16, 2004

this just in...

This is a crazy world, is it not ??!! Man treated after attempting to nail himself to cross: " It is still unclear whether the man was seeking assistance for his injury or help in nailing down his other hand. He claims he did not see "Passions of Christ" "

today was a good day...

In the words of Ice Cube "Today was a Good day!!" You ever had one of those days where everything was perfect in your life? I woke up refreshed, even had enough time to straighten my afro out a lil bit to a smooth, sleek and sexy 'do. When I straighten it, my hair flows all the way down to my mid back & I absolutely LOVE it. Also, work is flying by (for a change) & the best news of all is that I FINALLY got a call back from a job (whoo hoo!!). SOOOO, tomorrow afternoon I have an interview to try to swindle my way back into the property management industry & I am soo excited.

Tonight I should be either looking at houses or getting my workout on. Me & M are doing great and for the first time in my life I think I actually found someone who loves me for me & accepts me as I am. Its mind boggling. In a is great & its soo odd. For once in my life I actually have it all together, everything flowing smoothly with a smile on my face. For all I know it could be the calm before the storm, but for now I am just going to lay back and enjoy it while its still here.

Also, today is the primary elections. I hope you voted!!! As for me, I still have to vote (which I should find time to squeeze in after work) but I feel it's necessary. If we don't, our inaction allows overly anal & old fashioned, rich, ancient looking white men to run this country, apparent from the current state of our country...with no thought on us, the people they are supposed to represent. Looking at all the Illinois candidates and finding none which represent my ideals and train of thought, I feel like I have to choose between the lesser of 7 evils. What’s sad is that fact is for the most part I feel like that’s true of all US elections. Sometimes I want to move my ass to Europe or Mexico or something just to get away from the suffocating policies America inflicts upon me. Anyway, if there is to be any change, we have to stand up for what we believe in and not allow our elected representatives take advantage of us with taxes that get put in their own pockets or pass policies that take away our freedom as a people. If they discriminate against one of us, they are discriminating against us all. That’s my motto. SO VOTE YOUR BUNS OFF PEOPLE !!!

Monday, March 15, 2004

catch up post

I have been sooo busy lately that I can't even function. Between family visiting from NY, to looking at 3 flats to buy, to working & spending time with honey and friends, I have NOT had a free moment in over a week. The more I look at houses, the more they look the same. All of them suck ass. Ideally I would love to purchase a property with positive cash flow already set, however, with my measly down payment and the type of houses I have been seeing, I doubt it. Some of these houses were hell holes. There was this one place where the listing stated it had a Jacuzzi and newly built deck...but when I got there I thought I was going to puke. What they thought was a Jacuzzi was no more than a leaky sink..what they stated was a deck was an angled mass of wood that felt very unstable to say the least. Not to mention the electrical torn out of the walls in a few places. I was scared to even touch anything, lest I catch some incurable disease or get electrocuted. How could these people feel justified in trying to sell these hell holes for soo much money ? Its amazing to me. BUT..I will not lose faith. I truly believe that my house is out there, and when I do see it..It will hit me a like a ton of bricks.

On a whole different subject..I was thinking: It's so strange how relationship (intimate ones) go through phases. Its like clockwork with each relationship I have ever been on. Phase 1: honeymoon phase consisting of hours of continuous hot sex, interesting conversations til the wee hours of the morning. Couples are connected at the hip, lips, and groins...and are often accompanied with nonstop smiling, whistling...etc etc. Just plain happiness Phase 2: Sex is still great, but not quite as often..lets just say like 4 times a week. You start to notice little things that you didn’t notice that little snort when he or she laughs, how they like to kiss before they brush their teeth, etc etc. Still happy go lucky, but this is the phase where you are no longer connected at the hip. Phase 3: Things start to get into a nice comfy routine. You know each other quirks, fears, etc. All masks come off & you stare at each other in the face... AS for me this stage means the sex not horrible, but NO MORE Damn..this is getting too long and I am running out of time. But my point remains (as you can guess)..most relationships start off sooo peachy and then deteriorate and deteriorate to the point of no return. What the fuck is this all about ? Why is it so hard to keep that spark? And where do you go when you lose it ?Why do people soo soon forget the greatness they found in each other. That certain something that separated that person from everyone else in the room, in our lives..I think in general, people are so quickly sucked in to this mentality that the other will always be there for them, and in one way or another no longer are as appreciative as they should be. Its sad really. Why is keeping a relationship above water so seemingly difficult. Is it love that is soo complex or is it really simple and it's us that is making it so hard?

Wednesday, March 10, 2004

I am a forest shadow

You are a forest shadow.Your essence is that of the tree or beast that casts you upon the earth. You feel a purpose to be in balance with the cycles of life and are wise and beautiful in your submission to the justice of Mother Nature. You are peaceful in nature and, though you feel small, your spirit is precious, strong, and mighty as the (green)forces with which it is affiliated.

Talk about right on the nose...

I see space & I see life.

Today I set my desktop background on my pc at work with the image of 10,000 galaxies taken by the hubble telescope. All I can say is that it is one of the most beautiful things I have ever saw...I gasped and literally saw life. It looks almost like fine art; I swear its hypnotizing. I cannot even imagine what those galaxies are like, but we would be totally ignorant to think that there was no over living beings out of ALL those galaxies. I wonder what type of beings and animals lived or still live in them. It was very eye opening and bizarre to look at the "bigger picture" of our existence. With the size of the universe, we are but the size of a pin in comparison....

Monday, March 08, 2004

being a woman rocks !

March is Women's History Month and yesterday was International Women's Day. In honor of that, me & my girl Jeannette are going to see the sneak peak for "Secret Window" (what type of women would we be with out oogling Johnny Depp?) and then will embark on indulging in either massive amounts of ice cream from Zephyr's or fettucine alfredo at Olive Garden (Olive Garden being on my top 5 list of favorite restaurants of all time..yeah? SOOO WHAT? I'm simple to please).

Friday, March 05, 2004

u know what ?

I love the smell of rain on a spring day. It smells so crisp and new. Almost like we are being washed away of all negativity....AHHHH! Let it rain on!

don't mean to be bitter but "ms. martha" deserves worse

Truthfully, I was surprised beyond all belief when I read that Martha Stewart was found guilty on all four counts for the suspicious selling of her I-clone stocks. How ironic is it that the queen diva of home and gardens is going to be locked up?? Hee hee hee. I can't help but laugh my ass off. I honestly never liked that damn woman. Her smile is like plastered on her face 24/7 (anyone who tells me that smile is genuine is obviously on crack), her line of crap at Kmart is cheap, and have you ever seen her shows? She has absolutely no personality..seriously, a deaf mute has more pizzazz than this woman. Anyway, they say the sentence could be up to 20 years in prison. I will be shocked if they give her anything more than a year, though. I bet she's quaking in her boots right about now. Oh well. who cares. on to other things like me!!

Yesterday I saw the sneak preview of "Girl next Door". I am always winning tickets to see movies and take out friends, cousins, and of course, my sexy man. Yesterday, i took my lil cousin CJ (short for Carlitos) cuz he was dying to see this movie. Actually he’s not so small anymore. he’s a towering 5 ft 11, while I am still, despite my feeble attempts with drinking massive amounts of chocolate milk throughout my life... borderline midget. Well, the movie didn't blow too much: It was cheesy, corny, somewhat predictable. I laughed in a few parts, was totally bored in others. But it was free, so who the hell cares, right? I did See "Passions of Christ" last weekend, and it rocked, especially the cinematography. I definitely have to see it again. I also want to see that movie with Johnnie Depp "the secret window"... I think its called. Anyway, if you haven't guess yet I'm a total movie snob. I try to catch a show about once a week. Since movies are so expensive, I try to catch the Sunday matinee.

Anyway, work calls. But its Friday and I am in a good ass mood. :) Ciao

Wednesday, March 03, 2004

happy hump day...

It's Wednesday morning & its just one of those days that I didn't want to get up to go to work. But of course, I gotta make the doughnuts, so here I am, albeit a bit cranky...but still working. It sucks being an adult at times, don't it ?

On a another note, I finally started shopping around for a home loan for a 3 flat that I am hoping to buy.... the whole mortgage process is sooo fucken confusing ! All these different terms, fees, assumptions. I can't tell my up from down anymore. I have about 10 mortgage brokers calling me trying to sell me their loans and most of them want to sell me adjustable rates, which I just am NOT comfortable with. I rather have it fixed and not have to worry about the interest rates climbing anytime in the near future (even though the initial interest rate would be higher than the ARM). Buying a home is such a huge step for me and truthfully, I am terrified to make the wrong decision and FUCK up my financial future. I am planning on going to a few banks too to see what they offer me. My credit rocks, though I dont make much $$ and don't have a huge downpayment. Actually, some brokers are telling me to finance the whole price of the property. Im so confused. BLAH! whats a girl to do ?

Monday, March 01, 2004

yeah!! for Rosie O'Donnell

I know it's kinda old news that Rosie O'Donnel got hitched to her long time girlfriend last week. But I just really am so glad that people are finally speaking up for their rights as human beings. So glad in fact that I hope gay couples all over the nation start taking the law into their own hands. I really do not see what the big deal is with them marrying anyway...Its no ones business but the couples and the government should have no say in who should get married or not. After all, government and religion are supposed to be separate entities anyway, are they not? Some people say that being gay is not natural and that gay people are faking, are socialized, or formed throughout time and not inherently there since birth. But truthfully every living species has gay and lesbians in them. There are gay dogs, cats, elephants, lions, etc. etc. Try telling these animals that its not natural...that they have been bred any differently or that being gay was taught to them. On the contrary, being gay is the most natural thing for them in the world...almost like eating or sleeping.

To all the gay folks out there: I say go for it. If it makes you happy, sleep with whomever you want, love whomever you want, and of course...marry anyone you damn well please. FUCK BUSH AND ALL THE POLITICIANS WHO TELL YOU OTHERWISE.

off the dome

We are trapped in a world
of pain and suffering
mishaps and mayhems
broken families
with no fathers
crying mothers
asking why?
Tons of sex & drugs
Hardcore thugs
Throwing war signs on the corner
government officials lying
little children dying
on the street
being slain before our eyes
symbolizing our own demise
So many broken souls
with nothing to eat
Can it be the end?
there is no love to calm it all away
Instead we work
the daily grind of bones
leaving us empty and alone
looking to the sky for guidance
To the riddle dubbed life
we got so many problems
and are stuck in the middle
of limbo and hell
and if you can’t tell
We are losing the battle
Living in a time of hypocrisy
Is this what life is supposed to be?
Could it be the subliminal participation?
Of you, you, and yes me?