national masturbation month & violating elliptical machines

I few days ago I was surprised to find out that May is National Masturbation Month (while reading the Chicago Reader). Some hallmark holiday huh ? Turns out that Good Vibe is even sponsoring a Masturbate-A-Thon 2004 where participants can 'Come for a Cause'; 100% of the money goes to non profit sexual education programs. Won't you make your 'donation' today ?

While I'm the subject of sex, I swear I see (and hear) some crazy things at the health club on a pretty regular basis. Take for instance, last night while on the elliptical machine; I had the horror of witnessing this man on the machine beside me, grunting and moaning in such a way that I swear he was having multiple orgasms while he was working out. I mean, this man, from the sounds of it and look on his face, was straight up violating that poor elliptical rider...hee hee. Plus, with his headphones on, he was totally oblivious to how LOUD and well...freakish he sounded (or maybe he was just deaf?). I tried blocking it out, even turning up my mp3 player to drown him out. He just seemed to get louder and louder. So loud in fact, people were staring at me like if I somehow knew him or what the hell I thought of the situation. I mean, what the hell ? But, Looking back on the whole situation, it was pretty damn funny.