Friday, January 23, 2004

Dreams remind us of our greatest fears & fantasies

It's rare for me to remember my dreams. I must block them out for some strange, incomprehensible reason. But last night I had some strange, kinda scary dreams, which lead me to believe that I must have many many deep ridden fears which I haven't been able to really grasp thus far in my life. In my dreams, I am always running from something or someone trying to hurt me, or worse yet...kill me. My longest running nightmare is when the living dead is roaming the city/state/country/world, and somehow through some twisted hand of fate, its up to my chicken ass to save the world. I hate that dream and it always resurfaces ever since I was a child when my brother used to chase me around the house saying "BRAINS!!! I WANT TO EAT YOUR BRAINS!" Thanks to him, I will never watch another living dead movie for as long as I live.

anyway, I am getting off the subject of my post. Before I start to tell you what my dreams last night were, let it be said that last night, I meditated, using a guided meditation cd meant for clearing all my chakras (for those who don't know, I'm all about meditating and the whole chakra theory really does hold some water, atleast for me). Anyway, I must have accidentally put my cd player on repeat, thus my chakra clearing mediation was running for about...oh...5 hours. I always (I mean always) fall asleep 3/4 of the way through the meditation. That soothing voice and light music just lulls me to sleep after a while, providing me with the most awesome sleep ever most of the time.

Well last night I did sleep extremely well, but I had me some crazy dreams.

Dream one: There is a big party at my house (which really wasn't my house, but in my was). Friends, family, people I didn't even know were there. WE all go outside to bar-b-que, and there's like this lil creek right off my back yard. All is hunky dory until...Suddenly the wind is howling, and a EVIL SPIRIT is floating through the air..taking over peoples body's and killing them, then floating on to other people. It was sooo creepy. I actually felt the spirit go right past me....Then I woke up.

Dream two: Me & my boyfriend were getting ready to leave his house to go out (where..I have no clue). Suddenly, the sun gets all big (swollen with sun flares and everything bursting out of it). It gets real hot. Crazy hot. I look up..and the fucken sun explodes. It was sooo bright I couldn't see anything for a good minute, so I just hold on to my baby's arm and we get in the car. There is ashes and fire everywhere. People on the ground dead. It was crazy. At this point, We said fuck it, lets get back in the house. WE run back in. Turn on the tv and were informed that the sun exploded, to stay in our houses and try to block up all the areas where air gets into the house (like under the door, the fireplace, etc). It was crazy man. I swear. Last thing I remember about this dream is that I was trying to call my parents to see if they were alright and we were checking to see how much food we actually had in stock because it might be a while before we get any help.

So what the fuck do these dreams mean? I truly do believe that dreams are subliminal messages from your innermost feelings, fears, fantasies. BUT WHAT THE HELL? And while we are on the subject...why do I only remember the bad dreams? Why can't I dream about getting it on with say...Vin Diesel or chilling in Jamaica with my gurls smoking on some flame bud & drinking a pina colada? I just don't get it.

I know some people actually say they can interpret dreams. Like supposedly, having a baby in your dreams doesn't necessarily mean you are going to get knocked up in the near future. It supposedly means, there will be a great change in your life, a sort of rebirth. But what does evil spirits in the air and the sun exploding have to do with my life? I haven't been watching any scary/crazy tv shows and I haven't picked up a book in over a week (I very sad, but true).

Anyway, I end this post with saying HAPPY FRIDAY! Its supposed to snow over the weekend here in Chicago. If it snows enough I MIGHT go snowboarding. It would be my second time actually doing it so I am still on the bunny hill. I enjoy it...but I really SUCK. MEAN REALLY SUCK. I suck so bad, in fact, that my snowboarding instructor last year said last year that she never had a student that fell down as much as me, yet was so determined to learn cuz I kept picking my self and starting over. What a blow yet a compliment at the same time. Oh well. AT least I'm determined, right?


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