Friday, June 25, 2004

at least its friday

I apologize in advance for this post, as it is pretty much one big whine.

But, truthfully, do you ever feel like your life is a series of leftover dinners? Every day consists of the same essence, and one day what once was splendid and enjoyable suddenly becomes nauseously sickening. After a while, it’s like...suddenly you can't take any more of it in any quantity. Kinda like my moms Spaghetti and meatballs. She is famous for them and everyone who has tried them always asks for seconds; therefore, she is sure to make a big pot of it whenever she cooks it. BUT, because there is soo much, there is always at least a day or two of leftovers. Its all fine and dandy for the first, say 15 times, but after that its like if I even smell the sauce or anything, I just wanna puke.

Well, thats how I'm feeling my life has become a never-ending series of my moms left over spaghetti and meatballs. Not to sound all negative because there are a lot of positive things in my life, like my new house and my sweet boyfriend who tries to deal with my mood swings and stubbornness with a finesse.

Its definitely a time of change for me in many ways, but there is something integral that is missing. SO the question is how do I get rid of this feeling? How do I change the menu of my life to reflect what I really want and yearn for more than anything else: happiness? I guess its just something inside of me that I need to rectify for myself. Nothing and no one can do it for me. Because I am a complex individual by most means, there are tons of little things I know I have to work on; spiritually, professionally, and personally.

I just need to commit to it and tackle one aspect of my life at a time. It’s about time to throw out my leftovers and plan on cooking up something new and exciting. Wish me luck.

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